I was heartbroken when I learned that my friend Jane’s 90-year old mom was in hospice. I’d had the pleasure of spending a few days with Ruth at her home in Florida a few years back and I was touched by her zest for life, her humor and her overall kindness. Jane shared with her community that she’d be honoring her mom’s request to slow down and would be taking a sacred sabbatical. There would be no weekly emails or offerings. Instead she’d focus on her own rest and rejuvenation.

During our conversation Jane shared that it was her choice, made over 14 years ago, to stop playing  small that set her up to take the time off she needed to grieve, heal and rejuvenate.

As Jane shared her story, I felt full body chills as her words about stepping out and playing bigger hit home. I’ve been hiding, keeping my work and message hidden.

And, in honor of Ruth’s beautiful memory, I’m making a similar choice to stop playing small.

Please listen to Jane’s words, see how they impact you, and what they inspire you to do for yourself.

Click here to learn Jane’s steps on taking a sacred sabbatical.

To connect with Jane directly, click here.

To subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, visit this page.

Shelli shares her story about how 25 years ago she was hired as her city’s first female firefighter and made the choice to say yes to her truth. She was brave enough to rewrite her story and today she’s a coach, speaker (with a phenomenal TED talk), and author teaching others to say yes to their truth.

Here are some of the highlights, but you'll definitely want to listen to her whole story.

1:  The world had labeled her an artist but it wasn’t fitting.

[01:41] 25 years ago Shelli was a 108-pound manicurist ending high school and trying to figure out what to do with her life. She shares how it wasn’t until she shed the label of “Shelli the artist” to one that was “Shelli who likes art, and whatever else Shelli feels like liking” that she became free to explore other opportunities.

2: Three words that changed her life.

[06:16]  She was intrigued by firefighting, but she thought, “I’m not big enough, brave enough, smart enough, and strong enough. There are no girls in firefighting.” But her friend who was a firefighter challenged her saying: “There’s going to be a girl one day. Why not you?” The words “Why not me?” reverberated in her thoughts. A switch went off. She spent the next 1,162 days hacking and learning every single thing she needed to learn to succeed.

3: Forget logic, learn how to hack possibility.

[12:56] Shelli talks about the times that sucked as a firefighter, but how they were the times she grew the most. Today she coaches people on their internal story – the story that keeps you small. She shared with me her five pillar system that helps people hack possibility – foundation, alignment, courage, expertise, and community. My heart leapt when she said, “And to accomplish anything lofty or worthy of your time and your greatness, you cannot lead with logic. You have to lead with possibility.” 

 4: Everything is possible when…

[26:35] Shelli explains everything is possible when you learn to tell yourself a better story. When you do, you not only heal yourself but you can change the world. On the other hand, not managing your story can be catastrophic to your emotional health, to your mental health, and to your physical health because it’s not living in your truth.

5: Reframing your story is not for the weak of heart.

[30:43] Shelli had some profound insight on reframing your story. She said you have to be brave because the stories that are holding you back also serve you in some way. There is the payoff for believing the old story, otherwise, you would let it go. So you have to drill down and see where you’re out of alignment and that requires you to step into something that’s not comfortable.

After having her son, Althea made the courageous choice to blow up her life as she knew it and raise her child on her own. Her deep inner knowing allowed her to move forward with her choice. 

Tova Mirvis, the author of A Book of Separation: A Memoir, made the choice to both divorce and to leave her orthodox faith and her community.

Raised in an orthodox Jewish community in Memphis, Tennessee she grew up feeling like there was a set path for her; one that her family was part of and one that was always expected would be her own. She knew from a young age that to stay inside a religious community meant she’d always have this sense of community and identity of who she was supposed to be in the world. Trying very hard to be that person, she married at a young age, had children, and was part of a very religious community where every choice was mapped out for her.

Yet, she had a quiet whisper of doubt for many years — Is this what you really believe? Is this who you really are?

Afraid of what might happen if she let herself answer those hard questions, and how she’d change, she didn’t.

Until she did.

She experienced a growing awareness that who she was on the outside didn’t match who she was on the inside and it became impossible for her to navigate the feeling that she was two separate people She wasn’t living a life she believed and it was inconsistent with who she thought she was. And so, she made a change to live differently than she had before.

During our conversation she discusses how whenever one of us in a family dynamic changes, it changes everyone around us. She couldn’t stay a person who wasn’t going to think about hard questions and pretend so she could belong.

Part of making a change is accepting that pain and responsibility, and feeling the sadness and sometimes the guilt that goes along with knowing that you’re the one who changed something.

Would we ever want our children to not change and to feel like they are incapable of change?

Choosing to change affects those around us, but is that a bad thing?

Listen to Tova’s wisdom about change, identity and belonging. The common thread amongst those who’ve reached out to her, from many religious backgrounds and communities, is they weren’t living the life they felt they were meant to. 

Eric, and his wife Amy, consciously seek out opportunities to help others by making an anonymous donation each year. They envision creating a book for their grandchildren that chronicles the stories of their random acts of kindness, hoping their book will be a family legacy allowing future generations to be bitten by the giving bug.

After Eric learned that a single mom, who the family knew distantly, had to spend her scrupulously amassed Christmas savings to replace a totaled car, he and Amy filled an envelope with money. On Christmas morning, a trusted friend knocked on the woman’s door, handed her the stuffed envelope, wished her a Merry Christmas and walked away.

Eric never heard anything more about the donation, but hoped he’d given the women great encouragement in a tough time.